Well, the title of this entry will be the song title of whatever I am listening to by the time I am finished. So, since my doctor’s appointment I had an ultrasound done on my lump. Turns out I have a tumor. The doctor is pretty sure it is benign because I’m so young, but my doctor who found it was pretty sure it was just a cyst or calcium deposit. I’m not taking any chances. On Tuesday I have a biopsy to find out exactly if it is benign or malignant. Right now I’m just continuing on as if normal and trying not to freak out about it too much.

I’ve had a lot of time to think about it though and even if it isn’t cancer I think I will have it removed after my class is over sometime this summer. I just want the damn thing gone, it’s given me enough stress. I don’t think it could be cancer because of how big and prevalent it is, usually cancer isn’t so obvious. All I can do is pray and ask God to take care of me and put it in his hands and just go about things like normal. Stressing about it won’t make it disappear.

I’ve also worked out for the last 3 days and it’s amazing what it can do for my mood. I mean, like 90% of the rest of the population I really don’t like sweating and making my muscles all achy, but there is something nice about accomplishing something like this. I’ve been saying I want to lose 20 pounds for 3 years now and it’s gotten to the point where I have to lose 30 to get to where I wanted to be 3 years ago so that’s not good. I have a year and 2 months in which to lose the weight. Actually, I take that back, I only have like a year in order to do it because I have to make sure I have time to take my wedding dress in. I want to be 130 pounds by my wedding, I think a year is more than enough time to be able to accomplish this goal. You are only supposed to lose 1-2 pounds a week and there are like, what? 56 weeks in a year or something so I have a ton of time to lose the weight and to keep it off!!

When I move to my grandma’s for the rest of the summer I will go to her gym. She has a membership at some gym that is paid for by her health insurance and it costs $5 for me to go in every time. I guess the downside is that I won’t be able to go everyday because it will cost her so much money unless she is down with that. She does water aerobics, I don’t know if I will do that, I prefer to do the elliptical machine and the bike. No matter what I will lose weight. I’m still young and my metabolism may have slowed down but it’s not dead yet and I’m still at an age where it’s fairly easy to lose weight. I need to tackle this now before it’s too late.

What’s weird is I’ve gotten really on top of this since the lump. I don’t know why. Exercise will not keep me from getting cancer. I guess I just realized that my health is really important and at the rate I am going cancer should be the least of my worries. My whole family has weight issues except my brother, who is a bean poll, and I could see myself really getting out of control. I want a healthy heart and a nice body and a better confidence. Anyway, that’s all I got. Tips for weight loss are appreciated.

By the way, the song is Keep Your Head by The Ting Tings